5 Ways to Let Go When You are Comfortable With Your Clutter



5 Ways to Let Go When You are Comfortable With Your Clutter









The decluttering process has begun. We have gotten rid of the bread maker we never used and the six extra pairs of scissors, and everything that we have not used in a year. We used the 20/20 rule, and the 90/90 rule (the minimalists). Things are starting to look better but there is still so much clutter.

While trying to declutter our lives and our homes, there are sometimes things that we don’t really need, and possibly don’t even use, but we hold on to it for various reasons. We want to enjoy the benefits of a clean dresser or counter top, but we just cannot let go of that ballerina music box that our Father gave us or the trophy we won in little league. What do we do about the clutter that means something to us?

Evaluate if It Really Belongs
If you had an ugly wart on your nose and after years of putting up with it, decided to have it removed, you would probably still reach to touch it and look for it in the mirror. You would miss it. Just because you miss something doesn’t mean that it belonged there. Really evaluate if the clutter you are looking at belongs there, or if you are just used to it being there.

Put It in a box
Put your clutter in a box, hide it someplace and enjoy the clutter free area for a month. Just like in my “No Risk Simplicity Sampling” post, chances are you will not miss it and it’s much easier to declutter in this non-committal way, because you have the option to put it back.

Photograph It
Take a picture of your beloved items to keep forever.  If it is especially meaningful you can frame the photo and hang it on your wall.

Re-Gift It
You do not have to feel guilty getting rid of something that was a gift. In the future, let people know that when you accept a gift, it is now yours and you are able to enjoy it and re-gift it as you see fit. A gift that comes with responsibility is not really a great gift. Assume that it’s ok to enjoy, then release it to someone else.

Keep It
If it brings you joy by all means keep it!  Nobody is going to judge you and only you can decide what stays and what goes. I have finally cleared my dresser except for my hand made wedding bouquet in a Mason jar vase. I may not keep the flowers forever, but for now the clean dresser with the beautiful flowers bring me joy every single day. I am not going to live in an empty home. I am going to pick and choose to highlight my most favorite sentimental items or display my favorite art.  I still want my place to be homey and stylish. Instead of “displays” I choose to display fewer things to make more impact. It also makes it so easy to clean!

Growing Pains Mean Growth – Yay!
Decluttering usually starts easy and gets harder when we start to consider the things we are attached to or that we actually like. It’s O.K. to feel a little pang in our hearts when we decide to 9cc9531dc2e72cc0224f757bf4b0fad9let go of these things. If we accept these as growing pains we will soon find that letting go will be more uplifting than any ballerina music box could ever be.

For help making decluttering a habit, I recommend this great post by Zen Habits. 

Make Connections BIG and Small – Hollywood Style

Small Steps to BIG Connections



The Casting Couch

We are the Director and the Star of our own movie and we see everything through our own perspective, our eyes being the camera and our ears listening to the soundtrack. Everyone we know or meet has a different part in our movie but they all revolve around the main storyline – our lives! Some are Day Player roles like “Waitress”, “Cashier” or “Girl on Street Hailing Cab.” Some are Guest-Starring roles like “Father-In-Law” or “Annoying Neighbor” that regularly appear in our movie. There are also the Co-Starring roles such as “Husband” (they had to audition first) or “Mother” that are cast in very important scenes and develop the plot. We cannot forget about the Extras though seemingly insignificant, they add color and life to the scene. The life size piano scene with Tom Hanks would not have been quite as exciting without the “Shoppers” watching and clapping in delight.

Have Some Method Behind Your Madness

We may only be the star of one movie, the movie of our lives, however there are many other movies being created around us every day. In these other movies we play different parts. Sometimes we play the part of Co-Star and sometimes we are an Extra. There are no small parts, just small actors. It’s up to us if we want to help create Comedies or Tragedies for the people around us. Think about the roles you play in other people’s lives and try to create characters that are uplifting, motivating and loving. Instead of being the “Bitchy Wife” or “Nosey Neighbor”, try something more positive. Use your chops and try out the role of “Loving Wife” or “Concerned Neighbor”. Making that small adjustment can be the difference between an Independent artsy flop and a Blockbuster feel good movie of the year.

Don’t be typecast. Just because you are the “Lazy Son” in your parents movie does not mean you always have to play a lazy character in every movie you are in. Why don’t you try something different, one movie at a time so you can build your range?


Hit Your Mark

Trying to connect with others when we are busy being Stars in our own movie can be challenging. It’s easy to get wrapped up in our own dramas and disregard what is going on around us. We are all Stars and we are all Extras. Each time we are around another character we have a choice on what kind of characteristics we take on for the role we are in. We can choose to be rude to people, to ignore people or to connect on a very shallow or base level. We also have the choice to reach out and give more to our fellow Thespians. By connecting with others we can turn a sad scene into a happy one, for our movie and theirs. Sometimes all you have to do to win the Best Supporting Actor Award is just show up. Sometimes that’s all the scene needs to come to a happy ending.

Dress Rehearsal

On a day when you are feeling low or are in a foul mood, be especially nice and kind to others. You may see an amazing mirror effect that will bring that happiness and kindness back to you. Arriving “on the set” in a good mood could bring you rewards even better than a Golden Globe.

 Last Looks

What do you look like in the mirror when you are expressionless? Some of us don’t realize that our natural relaxed face has a negative expression. Now turn away, smile, and check yourself out again. Did you expect to see a bigger smile? By checking your face you can see what the world sees. Facial expressions speak much louder than words. There are different reasons we may not look the way we think we look. Some people are blessed with an amazing smile that
reaches for miles (like my husband, Smiley). Other people have a natural frown, even when they are happy. When some people get older they need to over compensate for frown lines. It may seem unnatural at first, however adding a bigger smile, even when you are faking it, can bring happiness to people around you and uplift your own spirits too.

You have the ability to create a positive or negative plot-twist in anybody’s movie or just be someone who walks by unnoticed. What are you going to choose? Body language is also a language. Use your face and your body to let people know you are an Unsung Hero or a vicious Evil Villain.


When to Yell “CUT!”

Being a pre-Madonna is selfish and unbecoming. This type of behavior does not help you connect with others nor does it increase your Star Rating on IMDB. People who enjoy catering to Drama Queens (this does not only apply to women) typically have their own issues and these kinds of relationships can be toxic. Instead of expecting five star treatment from everyone try giving it to yourself through taking great care, inside and out. You will be glowing and ready for the red carpet in no time.Getty Images- Grammys

It’s a Wrap

Everyone’s movie is not going to have a Hollywood ending. There are many plot-twists and turns in life. Listening, having empathy and being there for people during disasters and celebrating with them during their peaks can make you a character that they depend on. Even smiling at a stranger can make someone’s day. You are the Director and the Star, but like Clint Eastwood, you are not the Writer or the Editor. You can do your best with the script you were given, and then let the cameras roll!

“Go ahead make my day” ~ Clint Eastwood



Lights, Camera, Actions You Can Take To Make the “Big Time” Connecting With Others


  • Smile at strangers
  • Check your face
  • Carry snacks for hungry people
  • Compliment a stranger
  • Tip well
  • Say hello
  • Learn the art of small talk
  • When asked how you have been, having something better to say than “fine” or “busy”


  • Send a nice message
  • Send a card – in the mail!
  • Send a care package
  • Give the gift of your time
  • Do not make commitments you cannot keep
  • Always respond
  • Be sincere (this may clash with small talk, but you can do it!)

 Standing Ovations

  • Learn their Love Language 
  • Ask about things they have brought up to you before
  • Open up
  • Be present
  • Love and respect yourself
  • Be generous and giving
  • Express yourself